Oh, please.

(Eye rolling)

My daughter let her friend Jenny walk home with her. Jenny lives 10 miles away, and so is SUPPOSED to ride the bus. If she DOESN'T, her mom has to come get her, or I have to drive her, 20 miles round trip. They did this before, saying Jenny "missed" her bus. That time, her mom said, "Next time you call me from the SCHOOL. Do not turn up on Laurel's doorstep!"

So here they come today, saying they had some genetics assignment that they were partnered on, and they "had" to work together. They said it was on leaves. I said, "Um...ok. Call your mom."I could tell that her mom didn't believe Jenny, but said whatever. They went to my daughter's room, but a little while later, it was too quiet. I went to check, and they were GONE.

My kid doesn't HAVE her celly, b/c it got taken up at school last week. Jenny doesn't own one. They were gone for 2 hours, I had no idea where. It's POURING rain. I called Jenny's house, but got the machine. I said, "They can't be trusted!" (Her mom is totally cool--as in strict! She doesn't believe the crap that kids try to pull!) She called a while later, but hadn't gotten the messages. She said, "Is Jenny ready to come? I'm in your driveway. I don't want to get wet."

I told her that I didn't know WHERE the girls were. She and I both listed the tortures that they'd suffer. Just then they came waltzing down the street, SOAKING WET, BAREFOOT. They came in here (Mom still on the phone), and I said, "You didn't tell me you were leaving."

They said, "Yes, we did. We said it was about genetics and leaves. We went to get some."

I said, "We HAVE leaves, dear."

She said, "Tcha. Not in the front yard!"

Friends, I have 17 windows in this house. Big ones. Outside of EVERY window, you can see MILLIONS UPON BILLIONS of leaves, from at least 1000 SPECIES of plant life. I told them this. I gestured to the VERITABLE FOREST that we live in. "Furthermore, if you were collecting leaves, you would have had notebooks, pens, ziplocs, a worksheet, something."

"Well, we were just on our way ba-a-ck to GET a bag..."

"Oh, please!"

"We didn't TAKE notebooks because they'd get wet."

"Where are your LEAVES?!?" I asked. "It took you two hours to find NO leaves? We live in the bloody Forest Primeval."

"Tcha. Whatever, Mom. Don't believe us."

"I don't."

I don't blame Jenny, exactly, alone. It's the combo of those two that ALWAYS leads to deception. Last time, she had my kid cut her hair in some rocker chick thing, when her mother had said No.

Before that, they conned her mom into taking them to the Mall, and my angel bought gauges for her ears, and because of the haircut she'd given HERSELF, I didn't SEE her ears for weeks, and didn't even think about it. Now the child has stupid ass gaping holes in her ears. I told her the punishment will be that she has to live with a deformity she caused herself. She WILL regret it. And she'll have to live with it, or pay to fix it.

So, they lied to us about the assignment (WHO forces science partners OUTSIDE of school time? No one. Especially not at a rural school). If they DID need leaves, they had METRIC TONS of them RIGHT HERE. They must think we're stupid. They should have at LEAST filled their pockets with some damn LEAVES.

It was while she was gone that I snatched the tv out of her room. I am NOT retrieving her phone from the school (this is the 3rd time it's been taken up, and THIS time I'd have to go down there, stand in front of the principal's desk, ask for it back AND pay $25. Nope. Not gonna do it.

She's supposed to go to CA over Easter break. I'm not cancelling her trip, though, because she'd have to sit here alone all day, and I don't trust her an inch. And frankly, I could use the break from her. Our friends out there are very good with her--they take NO crap, and they make her do chores with their daughter. "If your eat our food, you can wash our dishes!" The mom asked me if there were any friends I didn't want her to see. I think I'll go the other way and say that she's only ALLOWED to see certain friends, and not to be LEFT at anyone's house except those people.

A tight leash is easier on them, as well as better for my kid. I was such a nerd. This is all new territory to me... :)