Opelika

Yeah, it's a word. It's in Alabama; it's where I meet the kids' dad to drop them off to him and pick them up. It's the halfway point between my house and his. Cruising at 77 miles per hour, while hoping the GA state troopers don't take 65 all that seriously, it takes just under 90 minutes, one way. With a bathroom break/coffee order at the 24-hour Starbucks (go figure!), it's still about a 3 1/2 hour project, at least. And that happens on the Friday, then again on the Sunday. So it ain't fun.

Someone reported to me that a relative of theirs speculated on what I'm doing over here in Georgia, and why didn't I move to Alabama to be closer to my ex so that he could help me with the kids. My somewhat repulsed response was, "Has she BEEN to Alabama?!?" Now, I'm not knocking Big Al; I'm sure there are all kinds of redeeming qualities there, or someone wouldn't have written the song. I guess I just haven't had opportunity to witness same.

I'm telling you: you cross the line into Alabama, and the drivers get weird. They just do. They don't know how to speed up to merge, and will HONK at you for not slamming on your brakes to let them in. No, sweetie--you have to speed up to the flow of traffic. They don't know what "slower traffic keep right" means. They will pull out onto a highway where everyone is zipping along at 65-70, and drop in front of you at 45, when they could have very well have gone over into the right lane. By the way they drive, I'd swear they're all octagenarians from Sarasota, but I see that they are not.

This past Friday, 5 minutes after we crossed the state line, some guy did something out-of-the-"where-the-sky-is-so-blue"-stupid, and as I downshifted and slammed on my brakes, I yelled, "I don't LIKE Alabama!", which cracked my daughter up. I can't explain it, but as soon as you get on the 280 east and cross BACK into Georgia, people drive normal again. Another cultural phenomenon? I don't know. But I have done 8 trips, now, and it's the same every time. I have been making a list of why I find I like it here in Georgia, and now I have the beginnings of a list of why I don't think I'd make it in Alabama. The perpetual road rage wouldn't be worth it--3 times a month is enough!